What is Peaceful Parenting?
“Peaceful parenting is a recognition and respect of the full personhood embodied in children, and that children are rational human beings with their own emotions and preferences. There exists a huge disparity of power between parent and child; the peaceful parent recognizes this disparity, empathizes with their child’s relative impotence, and admits when they have abused that power. The parent’s relationship to the child is voluntary insofar as the parent chooses to reproduce, whereas the child has no choice who their parents will be; recognizing this the peaceful parent strives to be the parent their child would choose had they that choice.
The peaceful parent values honesty over deception, voluntary cooperation over coercion or bribery, and accepts that children emulate the modes of interaction modeled by their parents.
As Max Planck (the German theoretical physicist who originated quantum theory) said, “A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.” A world not defined by violence and cultural bigotry will be created by children who don’t speak the language of force.”
– John J. Durso
A Message to Parents
“I am the father of two girls, and I understand that being a parent can be challenging. It is my experience that most parents do not want to physically punish their children. Those who do mostly do so out of desperation to fix a problem in the immediate future that seems out-of-control.
Marshall Rosenberg, from his experiences of interacting with his own children, comments, ‘You can’t make your kids do anything. All you can do is make them wish they had. And then, they will make you wish you hadn’t made them wish they had.‘
There is an alternative to punishing children. It requires a development of better communication skills, possible healing from the actions of the past, and the rebuilding of trust between child and parent. It is possible to develop an empathic-connection with your children; a connection in which everyone’s needs can be met in a cooperative way.
Contact our parent-councilors on our community Facebook Group – Liberate Parents – to network with other parents online who are also trying to develop their connection with children in peaceful, cooperative ways.
May the peace that you nurture today, blossom into the joy of your future.”
– Jacob Solt
Respectul Parents, Respectful Kids: 7 Keys to Turn Family Conflict into Cooperation” by Sura Hart and Victoria Hodson
“Beating the Devil Out of Them: Corporal Punishment in American Families and Its Effects on Children” by Murray A. Straus
“Radical Unschooling – A Revolution Has Begun” by Dayna Martin
“Hold On to Your Kids – Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers” by Gordan Neufeld, Ph.D., and Gabor Maté, M.D.
“Don’t Do Drugs Stay Out Of School” by Laurette Lynn